if a bird would sing

by Caroline LaNoce

If a bird would sing,

amongst the terror and rage,

it was my sign to go 

I have thought about this many times you see – 

running away

as fast as my feet would allow

Not considering the sweltering heat in early July, 

Not envisioning the plump blisters on my course skin, 

splitting open and bleeding out,

cherry red, my favorite color 

Not sealing my eyes shut and standing still,

hearing the sound of my own heart palpitations bang like a drum 

pounding violently against my leathery chest 

And I think to myself – 

Oh how I think and think and think

If only a bird would have sang earlier, 

perched gently in its tree

High up from the madness,

the Northern Mockingbird watching destruction unfold, 

singing his sweet song,

the lullaby I never received 

Watching me closely, and with purpose, 

the endearing eye contact that failed to ever exist – 

I hear that song

And I go 

Caroline LaNoce attended Saint Joseph’s University where she graduated Magna Cum Laude in the Spring of 2023 with her Bachelor of Arts in English, Writing, and Literature. She is continuing her education at Saint Joseph’s and is pursuing her Masters of Arts in Writing where she hopes to expand her writing skills, both professionally and creatively.