everyone smiles but the clown
by Arvilla Fee
“Because no retreat from the world
can mask what is in your face.”
― Gregory Maguire, Wicked
Always part of the circus,
juggling a thousand pins
beneath the big top.
White-hot spotlights cast
a golden glow upon a face blurred
beneath charisma and paint.
The audience roars as he trips over
his too-big feet. He’s up in an instant,
bowing, enticing the crowd to eat
his antics like popcorn. They don’t see
sweat circles under his arms, don’t feel
the jagged edges of his scarred heart.
He’s a performer—and has the cash
to prove it, but as the lights go down,
and the laughter fades, and he slips
like a phantom into his dressing room,
he alone can battle the demons
behind the looking glass.
Arvilla Fee teaches English Composition for Clark State College and is the poetry editor for the San Antonio Review. She has published poetry, photography, and short stories in numerous presses, and her poetry book, The Human Side, is available on Amazon. For Arvilla, writing produces the greatest joy when it connects us to each other.
